Men nag too—but we need to change the ‘wife nag’ narrative before it’s too late. And it’s too late.
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Women, wives, significant others, non-binary gender partners, and spouses at-large: we men (and/or partners and personalities who might not hear you) hear you.
What Bazaar’s Gemma Hartley misses in her ultra-viral article “Women Aren’t Nags, We’re Just Fed Up” is that not just men—but any S.O. who has a certain atypical personality and assumes a gender role from their parents that may not be traditionally the “dumb man not get household chores”—are guilty for not sharing in the “emotional labor” part of “household management” (it would also be interesting to know what Gemma Hartley‘s husband does for work and how emotionally demanding it is).
Plenty of stay-at-home-dads, Danny Tanners, regular guys, feminist-ally dads, LGBTQ partners who assume the “typical” cisgender role of “dad” or “male/masculine figure” in the household not only have their own share of emotional labor from full time work but also—just like the author—emotional weight and labor from parent and partnerhood.
Yes, women (and femme partners) are expected—more than men or non-femme/masculine partners—to fulfill typical roles that expect the woman or femme to carry the weight of household managers as well as be full-time out-of-the-house workers, parents, and partners.
Yes, bearing the brunt of emotional labor is frustrating for women/femmes as well as anyone else, but mainly females, traditionally, and in most cultures historically.
Yes, men (and any partners) need to listen and do exactly what their partners are requesting—and vice versa.
But it’s not always easy and clean cut like that, and sometimes a partner just needs to pick up the damn box and put it away for the 50th time.