What are New York’s singles thankful for this season?
Are we thankful to live in a city where each new season brings an influx of men and women to this island of strivers and with them new opportunities for friendship and possibly love?
Or, as the days grow shorter, do we feel the pinch of time at our backs and a sadness as we wonder where we may have missed our opportunity or, in the case of those who may have lost love, whether we’ll ever find it again?
And are some New Yorkers simply thankful for the joys of the single life?
Jenny Taitz is a psychologist and author of the soon-to-be-released book “How to be Single and Happy: Science-Based Strategies for Keeping Your Sanity While Looking for Your Soulmate.” She says that, according to studies recently conducted at Stanford University, people in relationships with partners who are “invalidating” tend to be less happy than singles.
“It’s better to be single than in an unhappy relationship,” notes Taitz. “If someone is dismissing your emotions, that leads to psychological problems. If, for instance, you want something exclusive and your partner wants something casual, and you stay in it, that isn’t great for your self-respect or your long-term happiness.”
Turns out, even a straightforward matchmaker will agree that if you’re not finding your match, it’s wise to be thankful for your independence.
“Sometimes there is comfort in having a relationship, even if it’s a bad situation. Often, sadly, it ties to people’s self-esteem, to thinking ‘This is what I deserve,’ ” said Michelle Frankel, the owner of NYCity Matchmaking. “When people realize being alone is better than being in an abusive relationship, or one in which someone is unfaithful or emotionally unavailable, that is something to be thankful for.”
Manhattan psychiatrist Will Winter points out that, whether coupled or single, people who focus on what they have, rather than what they don’t, tend to be…